Are you and your spouse or partner like Oscar and Felix, of “The Odd Couple”? (Are you old enough to know what I’m talking about?)I am not a marriage counselor (or a psychic, or a magician), but I have been called upon to mediate disputes as to what goes where in a home or other shared space. Often my recommendation is something neither person has thought of!
If you are Felix (the neat one): Is your spouse sick of hearing you nag? It really helps to have an impartial professional to hear both sides of an issue and give a practical opinion that will work for everyone.
If you can’t interest your significant other in working with a professional organizer, try hiring one anyway, for yourself. Work on your own stuff – your clothes closet, your half of the office space, “your” kitchen or garage. Sometimes – I’ve seen it happen — the “other” will take interest and start organizing their stuff simply because they are inspired by the results, and by the fact that you seem happier.
Figure out what the “Cost of Clutter” is for your partner – Is it lost time? Wasted money? Family discord? Missed opportunities? Living in C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)? Demonstrate that the benefits of organizing far outweigh the cost of getting organized.
If you are Oscar (the messy one): You might be surprised to hear what I have to say on your behalf! Can you usually find what you are looking for? Then you might be messy AND organized! That said, could you support your partner in keeping common areas neat if you had a room, or corner, or shelf, of your own to keep as you pleased, with no nagging?
Would you be more interested in getting organized (or keeping an area tidy) if you were left with a system — based on your habits and personality — that was designed to help you keep it that way easily?
If your life is not a sitcom: If organizing disputes are just the tip of the iceberg for you and your spouse/partner, I know several Marriage and Family Counselors that I can refer you to…seriously!
Copyright 2010 by Hazel Thornton, Organized For Life.
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Tags: clutter-free, cost of clutter, odd couples
